Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
