Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
