all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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