I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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