Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
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