If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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