We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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