he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
