HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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