Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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