we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
