What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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