The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize
