Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Randomize
