dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
if i can run in heels then i can drive
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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