I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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