Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
