just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
she looked like the before picture.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Dicks are not precious.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
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