areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
