; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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