the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
