But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
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So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
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He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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