talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
there was a trapeze. enough said
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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