I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
