You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
The air taste purple.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
