Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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