I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
