Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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