I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Randomize