Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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