I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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