he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
