She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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