just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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