what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
