Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
