Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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