we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
