why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
