dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
