Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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