Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
