I've blown a few things in my day
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
