Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
