Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
