Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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