the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
