I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
