Kiss
Puke
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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