we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
