I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Panties = found
Randomize
