Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
We had to coat check the pizza.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Randomize
