I didn't shave. On purpose
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
