it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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