I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
