Umm I'm too high to move.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
