I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
So squirting runs in the family.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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