it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
