We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
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