i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
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He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
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I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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