You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
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