Fuck appropriateness.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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